Updates on me~!

Cafeclouds here~~

So i've been driving to school~ its pretty chill i guess. i get to take my time in the morning and stuff >>

Ughhhh, i seriously have SMTOWN withdrawal symptoms guys...its pretty bad... like i get all depressed over it for no reason lol TAT i just keep wishing i could go back in time and be there again. i miss them so much.

Oh my god T___T

Taemin, SHINee, suju...everyone.. 

i know it might just seem like a fandom/obsession/phase to you guys,

but it means so much more to me.

Yeah, i think they're really gorgeous and they sing amazingly and stuff like that, but for me it kind of goes beyond that.

To be honest, they are sometimes the real reason i still wake up in the morning.

I know it might sound weird...but kpop idols ... they are amazing to me.

For now its SHINee and Super Junior that inspire me the most.

They are my inspiration for living and for going on everyday, no matter how hard it is because i know they all work themselves to death and still look amazing on stage.

I can see Taemin's eyebags getting darker everyday and I can hear jonghyun's voice getting more and more strained with every Lucifer performance, but I know they worked so fucking hard to reach their dreams ... and are still working their butts off.

and that inspires me so much.

Did you know Taemin gets bullied in school.

YEah, thats right, 

he's a fucking pop idol, and he juggles working, attending meets, singing on stage at concerts, goes to variety shows, radio shows, photoshoots, a nameless bunch of other CRAP and still has to go to fucking school and to top it off he gets BULLIED.

girls won't ever leave him alone and are always pestering him/stalking him/won't let him get past to go to class....and other kids make fun of him, call him names, and even throw things at him

I want to fucking kill them all and rip their faces off .... but it seriously brings tears to my eyes that he is so strong to keep moving on and still working hard....

I just hope he doesn't like get too affected by the bullying that he's one of those k-celebs who suicide..

omg *knock on wood!!!!*

Just kidding, i know Taemin is a happy little kid and he'll never do that (:

I want to be like them -- strong and successful and happy but hardworking at the same time,

Did you know like 5 members of Super junior almost got killed in a car crash like a couple years ago?

they were on their way back from one of the member's father's FUNERAL. and got in a car crash where they were almost killed.

They all broke a bunch of bones and were hospitalized for a long time.

The other members took care of them and they still kept working hard.

That just breaks my heart that they try so hard all the time and they work together to care for each other and i so wish i could have that so....

They inspire and sometimes are the only reason i even care to keep going on in this life.

And since i met them -- in PERSON in front of me, sweat, blood, flesh, tears, the real deal ;;; everything just hasn't been the same.

I wish i could see them again.

It just means so much to me.

*sigh* I really miss SMTOWN.

I miss Taemin ):

 he was so fucking beautiful and perfect....:/

And this might be kind of like pathetic to you guys...

but when lei broke up with me, i felt like i got over it right away (well not the first day, but after that and on), and i acted like it too, 

but i think i actually had really acute depression and I didn't even know it.

You wanna know who got me out of it and from hurting myself?

Big Bang.

Yeah.

No offense, i'm not saying you guys didn't help me or anything, it's just that you guys didn't even KNOW i was depressed and like emo lol... hell, ::::I::::: didn't even know so its fine ..

but i'm just saying that....

I discovered big bang and they saved me.

so they just all mean a lot to me T__T

For bitches who suck and didn't read/comment on my SMTOWN fan account...better do so now (:

http://pedonoona.blogspot.com/

~~~

OMG THIS SHIT MAKES MY LIFE WORTH LIVING AHHAHAHA SO FUCKING HILARIOUS AND CUTE and FUNNNN!!!!!

http://www.mediafire.com/?tlv3d9339aa5b

Download the SHINee ones on the second page (:

~~~

Ummm i think livejournal totally died, guys lol @_@ Ummm like i think all my lj friends totally went AWOL and MIA O-o Umm so i'm just gonna be posting on here a lot more XD LUCKY FOR YOU guys -- you get all my pointless spam now...even if it has to do with a bunch of kpop crap. i expect you to read it too hahaha :DD BECAUSE YOU ALL LOVE ME, BITCHES.

D:<

~~~

SO I'm applying to Cal State Long Beach on the FIRST DAY OF OCTOBER since thats the day they are staring to accept applications @____@ I hope i get in lol @___@ just a heads up for you guys, you should check the colleges' sites that you might wanna attend and check out the application dates for them before its too late!!! Good luck (: Lets all get into the schools we want~! (:

~~~

MIDORI, DO. NOT. WATCH. TOO. MANY. FANCAMS. OF. SMTOWN.

it will make you forget the feeling of being there faster and then you will get really bad withdrawal lol ~_~

it happened to my friend T__T

~~~

So tell me how was your first and second week of senior year??

Mine was okay i guess...kind of strange..

but i feel like i have so much more freedom of expression...I just act like however i want/do what i want...and i dress/do my hair how i want and i really don't care what people say lol.

I bring around a bookbag to put my binder/books in and i guess it makes me look really asian or something lol but i really don't care.

I just find that i really DO NOT CARE @_@

SENIORITIS IS COMING ALREADY AHAHAHHAHA

I wore my hair all korean today with a little ponytail on top of my head today with a little bow and i THINK IT WAS SUPER CUTE and fuck bitches who didn't like it.

FUCK BITCHES who didnt like my pedonoona shirt too . they can suck my dick.

LOL :D

And all my folders/notebooks/eVERYTHING is pimped out with kpop stuff and i kind of don't give a rat's ass if people think i'm too obsessed/weird either cuz taemin's face everywhere makes me really fucking happy you have no idea<3

~~~

Anything new to look forward to, guys?

WE have Teatime's and Kimlink's birthdays coming up soon and what are we planning for halloween?

We definitely gotta get together for Halloween ((:

Ummmm what else is coming up?? >>;;

Any other big events? 

I feel like so pointless after SMTOWN like i have no other big exciting things to look forward to T^T

I will try to think of more things lol ... to keep me going ~ and not give up on school lol @_@

I need to sleep now...its 9:30PM lol. i wake up at 5:20AM though so i gotta sleep now if i wanna be able to wake up tomorrow ><

I need Teatime to finish her post!! THAT WHORE! :D

Love you guys!

post moar about your lives soon~~

I'm outt!