NEW CHAPTER: 2 Years Later.

Hey ladies, how are you guys? Its been quite a while since we've posted on here and I've been itching to write lately.
I know we talk irl about a lot of issues that are going on in our daily lives and we don't live that far from each other anymore, but sometimes I find it difficult to talk about certain things irl. Sometimes I feel the need to express my thoughts through writing.

Its been 2 years since I've moved back down to Socal, there was a lot that was going on but there was a lot that also felt empty. I'm working a steady job but I don't feel any growth coming from there, I'm back at school but still hesitant on the direction I should take, I have a place to live with cheap rent but I'm unhappy and feel confined there, and I have so much I want to do but I'm finding it hard to motivate myself to take steps forward. The constant push and pull of keeping a steady and safe lifestyle versus stepping out of my comfort zone to make myself enjoy life more leaves me stuck in the middle and afraid.

When I came back down, I thought that the most important thing was for me to try and finish school. But I'm beginning to think that I'm just not cut out for sitting in a room, listening, test taking, memorizing. I feel this burning desire to learn but not in that way. I want the experience, I want to do not to sit and listen. Then I think to myself, well what can I do? I'm good at keeping track of numbers, I like to see things moving, I like to create. The only thing I wish I could do was art.

Things at home are suffocating, I feel confined to my room and Healthnut's nagging is starting to get to me as well as Matcha's passive aggressiveness. I want to cook when I want without feeling like I'm disturbing/imposing on people, I want to be able to use a living room to work without someone yelling at a basketball game, and I want to be able decorate and make it feel like home. My room just feels confined and trapped and when I go home I lose all motivation to do anything. I'm not exactly sure what I can do in this regard except take my work elsewhere. With Tea and I not being able to move out this December, I'll just have to deal with it. I do wish we could get some sort of creative space to work on our things though.

In regards to work, I'll do what I need to to survive and pay bills. I'm on the lookout for another better paying job, but work isn't super stressful right now and people aren't as annoying either. Not like it was before I left for my SA trip thank goodness.

I have a project that I really wanted to get started on and I've actually already started trying to sketch it out so I can get it done by mid October. I want to make enamel pins of two Splatoon characters so I can sell them when I go to lans. I want to dip my toes in doing some artwork and design work. I'll probably have Tea fix up my designs for me so they actually look good and not chickenshit. The only issues of course is money. I could afford it now since Tea and I aren't planning on moving out soon and of course I'm hoping to make back the money. I think this is a good way to try and move forward and do something that I've been want to do for awhile now.

There's a lot more that I want to express but maybe on another day. I'm not hoping to bring this blog back but today I just felt like typing out things.

My Life

Sorry I've been MIA again :(

Things have been busy and stressful for me as well. 

Work

So work is the same as always. They keep calling me in on my days off, I also got some shifts over at the other mall I'm working at. SO this month's check should be fat as fuck. 

So apparently our head manager is trying to change her ways after the meeting they had confronting her on her habits and shit. She also pulled me aside and apologized for the one shitty shift I worked with her. I used this opportunity to confront her as well and tell her all shit I was thinking and what I felt like we needed to improve. Hopefully...

Future

So I'm thinking really hard about my future right now and what is actually a realistic plan. I'm giving myself two more chances to get into the AppAcademy, one date in January and the other one in March. Basically if I don't get in by March I'm going to move back to Socal. I still want to do programming and I really enjoy it, I honestly believe it is the best path for me.

In my current living situation its honestly way too stressful and unstable for me and I'm in so much debt I cannot concentrate fully on what I need to do. Plus I find myself super depressed a lot of the time and missing my family and friends back home (you guys). As much as I love it up here and feel like I'm failing if move back home, its going to be whats best for me in terms of mental stability and health. I know one day I'll probably move back to Norcal if I land a good programming job. For now that is my plan. I definitely jumped into the adult life too quickly, but then again I thought I was going to have the support of a certain someone tbh. Thats on me tho.

NO RAGRETS

Programming

I'm going to be focusing a lot of programming the next few months to try to get into AppAcademy and I'm afraid I won't be able to come down the month of October and November. I'm sorry I'm missing out on your birthday again this year Tea, but I really need to save the money. :( 

I can't put if off any longer, no matter what happens I need to focus on programming and not give myself anymore excuses. If I can't do it by that time then its not going to happen anytime soon.

Love Life

What can I say...I have none. HAHAHAHAHA *cries

But you know what? I'm perfectly okay with that. I have so much more I need to worry about, I don't have time to spare on love right now. 

Sometimes I do get lonely and wonder if I'll be with anyone, but thats just the way it is. If there happens to be someone who comes my way and blows me away, then thats great! I feel like even after all I went through with Peniscola I'm thankful for the experience I had with him. Sure it was extremely heartbreaking and I almost lost myself, but it made me a more confident person. I know what I want out of a relationship AND how a relationship is suppose to work. I'm an all or nothing kind of girl and I don't want to do things half-assed, so until I meet to right person where we both give it all or nothing, I'm not going to sit there and be depressed about it.

Needless to say I'm not the same person I was two years ago. All of my experiences since then has helped me improve myself and I'll always be thankful for them no matter how hard it gets. I'm developing myself and growing up with every person I meet and with every mistake I make. I think its good to keep that in mind as we all tackle through our twenties. We are all struggling to establish ourselves right now for the rest of our lives. Although we make a lot of mistakes everyday and stress out like shit about the future, its important to never lose sight of what you actually want and what will make you happy. Sometimes you have to take a few steps back to move forward and thats okay.

Grrrr Work

         Yet again I am being called into work on my days off. I haven't really had time to relax, write a blog, or ANYTHING. At least I'm making more money and I'll be visiting you guys this weekend so we can party. I've been given the title of sales lead for holiday box up, which is basically inventory management, and I heard a rumor that they might give me the sales lead for marketing as well. Not sure how I feel about this. 

         On one side, hell yea I'm being promoted but also I don't want to take the job if I'm planning to leave soon. If it paid more than I would take it but it doesn't, its just more responsibility and I'd rather have them have someone else be trained to do it if I am planning to leave soon. I'm doing toooo well, I've only actually been with them for 3 and a half months.
         Getting more hours and being promoted is great and all but I also want to focus on the programming that I want to do. Anytime I have some days off and I plan to do chores or work on programming I get called into work and its a little frustrating. Idk I'm just a little iffy on everything right now.

Short post here

      Sorry I've been so MIA since the blog started, I did not realize how much shit needed to be done. In addition to me having floorset shifts and shifts I didn't know I had I'm currently exhausted. I love working at B&BW but the head manager keeps fucking up and making everyone's job harder by not doing hers. Anyways wish me luck guys, I have one more shift tomorrow until I get a day off. Then I'm going to blog the day awayyyy.

SPAMMMM

SORRY GUYS, BUT IMMA BE SPAMMING SOME MINHO RIGHT NOW!

yea..... MINHO!!!

WOO HOO!!!

FINALLY the blog is back and running!!

so yea, that photo shoot was fun, but i had a major headache though.... :(

and right now i should really be doing AP stuff and studying for my math placement, but yea this is so exciting!!

WOW Kimly has a boyfriend now!!!!
i'm like the only one that has had one since middle school.... :/

oh wells, boyfriends are too much work and i don't have the patience for one right now.....maybe later when i feel like it.... XD i'd prabably stab mine in the face when he pisses me off.
plus due to the fact that all the boys at school are boobs and the ones i met so far are not interesting at all.....

YOU KNOW WHO I WANT AS A BOYFRIEND?!?!? MINHO!!!
he so cuteeee!!!

SMTOWN IN LIKE ONE FUCKING WEEK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I GET TO SEE MY BABY MINHO!!
FUCK MY LIFE I BETTER GET A PICTURE WITH HIM!!!!!! D:

so yea that's it....I'd should really do homework right now....

Died

come guys post up some shit alreadyyyy i'm bored.....
well then i guess this blogger thing has died??? or maybe everyone is a little too busy to make any new posts??
i know i am, since i've been at chapman all this time but, i kinda like this blog.
so hopefully we can all resume it later or something.

AHHH!!! ANGER!!

OMG GUESS WHAT I JUST FOUND OUT?!?!?!??!?!!!!!

the upward bounds people changed the date of Chapman to June 28th to July 5th......
I"M SOOO MAD!!!! that means we could have gone to AX on a Friday....
they didn't even tell me anything....
also really angry because my tennis team were doing TV Tappings as a fundraiser and i said i couldn't go because i thought i be at school by then!!!
so now i have to pay more for tennis too... ahhudhfjkghsfjlkghdujks!!!
so imma apologize for making you guys change the date of AX for nothing.... :(

oh and Cafe wants to know if you are going to AX Kimly? and how are you getting there and who you going with....

so yea....thats alll

lol another one of their games!

LOL Taeyang is in this one, i think i like his round the best! XD

GAHBALABLAA!

AHHH MUTAFUCKING JUNE BRIDE ITEMS ARE HERE!!!!!!!!!!!
GAHHHHHH, but no limited items yet........, that s the only thing i wanted....
but the event only lasted for like about two weeks... that means major spending time....

GHAHAHAHA!!

????????

HEY GUYS!
WHAT HAPPENED?!?!?!
ARE WE LIKE ALL DEAD?!?!?

well anyways, i wanted to know when CafeCloud is going to order so i can order with you!!

come on guys, I'm bored, post some shit uppp :D

GHAHAHAHA!!

have to watch!

New Items

NEW POUPEE ITEMS!!

neww items guys, some of the items are really cute
and i freaking missed the limited items, its sold out already......
and they will restock it but its going to be like one in the morning for both of the restocking....
mutafucka.... >:(

well I'm gonna sneakily get out of bed at one in the morning and buy it!! :D
i kinda want all three... what do you guys think??

helppp

dude you guys i need help choosing between these bagss!!!

http://fashion4us.com/wholesale-fashion-detail.action?id=64365

http://fashion4us.com/wholesale-fashion-detail.action?id=59360

http://fashion4us.com/wholesale-fashion-detail.action?id=54159

and i think i'm probably going to get these shoes.

http://fashion4us.com/wholesale-fashion-detail.action?id=61361

i'm going to get these in white

http://fashion4us.com/wholesale-fashion-detail.action?id=65639

and this one in the light green

funny funny

you know the annual Star Dance Battles the K-pop stars have, well they also have this little game thing that goes with it every year too, and this year the stars had to dress up in that cake bread thing(forgot whats it called) but the goal is for them to stay on their stomachs while the other team had to flip them on their backs. its soo freaking funny!!!!

here is the link for it

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hjKzIwZJijY&feature=related


and if you want watch this one too

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MqixMn65fmE&feature=related

this one is 2pm vs. super junior, its pretty hot! and its a dance battle not a game.
and if you guys want you can watch the rest of the dance battles, but i though you guys just had to see these two! XD

have funnn

crashhhh

the other day my mom go in a car crash....
it wasn't her fault the other lady like dozed off and rammed into her.
at first she didn't feel any pain or anything because she was too freaked out, but now she can't even walk....
its not like she is paralyzed or anything but it was like her mind didn't catch onto how much pain her body was in, and now she has to use that old people walking thing the old ladies use to walk across the street.

and now she has to get her car fixed again when she just got it fixed like three months ago....

but at least she isn't dead or paralyzed from the neck down.....at least shes still alive .
so yea she won't be driving anywhere anytime soon or do anything much really. :(

posters

lol more demotivation posters XD

HAIRRRRYY SITUATION

as you all know i wanted to cut my hair into bangs since last summer, and i did cut it, except that i chickened out last minute and cut it into side bangs instead.... XD

so i took a preview picture of how maybe my hair would look like with straight bangs,


here is the another picture cuz apparently Kimly said i look like an old woman in the other one.

so what do you guys think???
think i should cut it, and i might want Cafe to cut it for me since she already did hers. :D

U-Kiss

omg guys!!

if you have time you have to watch U-Kiss's new variety show!!
heres the link for it

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NYgzrNaJAI8

they are soo funny!! XD