Sorry I've been MIA again :(
Things have been busy and stressful for me as well.
Work
So work is the same as always. They keep calling me in on my days off, I also got some shifts over at the other mall I'm working at. SO this month's check should be fat as fuck.
So apparently our head manager is trying to change her ways after the meeting they had confronting her on her habits and shit. She also pulled me aside and apologized for the one shitty shift I worked with her. I used this opportunity to confront her as well and tell her all shit I was thinking and what I felt like we needed to improve. Hopefully...
Future
So I'm thinking really hard about my future right now and what is actually a realistic plan. I'm giving myself two more chances to get into the AppAcademy, one date in January and the other one in March. Basically if I don't get in by March I'm going to move back to Socal. I still want to do programming and I really enjoy it, I honestly believe it is the best path for me.
In my current living situation its honestly way too stressful and unstable for me and I'm in so much debt I cannot concentrate fully on what I need to do. Plus I find myself super depressed a lot of the time and missing my family and friends back home (you guys). As much as I love it up here and feel like I'm failing if move back home, its going to be whats best for me in terms of mental stability and health. I know one day I'll probably move back to Norcal if I land a good programming job. For now that is my plan. I definitely jumped into the adult life too quickly, but then again I thought I was going to have the support of a certain someone tbh. Thats on me tho.
NO RAGRETS
Programming
I'm going to be focusing a lot of programming the next few months to try to get into AppAcademy and I'm afraid I won't be able to come down the month of October and November. I'm sorry I'm missing out on your birthday again this year Tea, but I really need to save the money. :(
I can't put if off any longer, no matter what happens I need to focus on programming and not give myself anymore excuses. If I can't do it by that time then its not going to happen anytime soon.
Love Life
What can I say...I have none. HAHAHAHAHA *cries
But you know what? I'm perfectly okay with that. I have so much more I need to worry about, I don't have time to spare on love right now.
Sometimes I do get lonely and wonder if I'll be with anyone, but thats just the way it is. If there happens to be someone who comes my way and blows me away, then thats great! I feel like even after all I went through with Peniscola I'm thankful for the experience I had with him. Sure it was extremely heartbreaking and I almost lost myself, but it made me a more confident person. I know what I want out of a relationship AND how a relationship is suppose to work. I'm an all or nothing kind of girl and I don't want to do things half-assed, so until I meet to right person where we both give it all or nothing, I'm not going to sit there and be depressed about it.
Needless to say I'm not the same person I was two years ago. All of my experiences since then has helped me improve myself and I'll always be thankful for them no matter how hard it gets. I'm developing myself and growing up with every person I meet and with every mistake I make. I think its good to keep that in mind as we all tackle through our twenties. We are all struggling to establish ourselves right now for the rest of our lives. Although we make a lot of mistakes everyday and stress out like shit about the future, its important to never lose sight of what you actually want and what will make you happy. Sometimes you have to take a few steps back to move forward and thats okay.
