NEW CHAPTER: 2 Years Later.

Hey ladies, how are you guys? Its been quite a while since we've posted on here and I've been itching to write lately.
I know we talk irl about a lot of issues that are going on in our daily lives and we don't live that far from each other anymore, but sometimes I find it difficult to talk about certain things irl. Sometimes I feel the need to express my thoughts through writing.

Its been 2 years since I've moved back down to Socal, there was a lot that was going on but there was a lot that also felt empty. I'm working a steady job but I don't feel any growth coming from there, I'm back at school but still hesitant on the direction I should take, I have a place to live with cheap rent but I'm unhappy and feel confined there, and I have so much I want to do but I'm finding it hard to motivate myself to take steps forward. The constant push and pull of keeping a steady and safe lifestyle versus stepping out of my comfort zone to make myself enjoy life more leaves me stuck in the middle and afraid.

When I came back down, I thought that the most important thing was for me to try and finish school. But I'm beginning to think that I'm just not cut out for sitting in a room, listening, test taking, memorizing. I feel this burning desire to learn but not in that way. I want the experience, I want to do not to sit and listen. Then I think to myself, well what can I do? I'm good at keeping track of numbers, I like to see things moving, I like to create. The only thing I wish I could do was art.

Things at home are suffocating, I feel confined to my room and Healthnut's nagging is starting to get to me as well as Matcha's passive aggressiveness. I want to cook when I want without feeling like I'm disturbing/imposing on people, I want to be able to use a living room to work without someone yelling at a basketball game, and I want to be able decorate and make it feel like home. My room just feels confined and trapped and when I go home I lose all motivation to do anything. I'm not exactly sure what I can do in this regard except take my work elsewhere. With Tea and I not being able to move out this December, I'll just have to deal with it. I do wish we could get some sort of creative space to work on our things though.

In regards to work, I'll do what I need to to survive and pay bills. I'm on the lookout for another better paying job, but work isn't super stressful right now and people aren't as annoying either. Not like it was before I left for my SA trip thank goodness.

I have a project that I really wanted to get started on and I've actually already started trying to sketch it out so I can get it done by mid October. I want to make enamel pins of two Splatoon characters so I can sell them when I go to lans. I want to dip my toes in doing some artwork and design work. I'll probably have Tea fix up my designs for me so they actually look good and not chickenshit. The only issues of course is money. I could afford it now since Tea and I aren't planning on moving out soon and of course I'm hoping to make back the money. I think this is a good way to try and move forward and do something that I've been want to do for awhile now.

There's a lot more that I want to express but maybe on another day. I'm not hoping to bring this blog back but today I just felt like typing out things.